So, I picked up the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Wow! I learned so much about me! I thought that I knew my wants, needs, desires, etc...and I did to some degree but I didn't really understand how people are so different. That just because I crave affirmations doesn't mean that everyone does. Or that just because physical touch wasn't as important to me that others may need it more than affirmations.
- Physical Touch - this person feels love when others touch them lovingly.
- Acts of Service - this person feels love when others help them out or serve
them.
- Words of Affirmation - this person feels love when others verbally approve
or affirm them.
- Quality Time - this person feels love when others spend time with them.
- Gifts - this person feels love when others give them thoughtful things.
The book goes into great detail on each but this is a brief explanation. My languages have changed over the years. I do believe that at the tops on my list are definitely Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service, I've always wanted to hear that I'm good enough, smart enough, pretty enough etc and I remember even as a child that if I received a gift then I must've been important or good enough. Unfortunately that is how I based my importance in life so when I wasn't having those needs met, I felt that I was worthless and not good enough. Jesus is the ONLY one that could fill those holes and needs...no person could.
So do I not need those because Jesus is filling me with His affirmations? Ummmm NO! I still need it from my friends and family but I am not dependent on them for happiness. Make sense?
There are so many different love language books...5 Love languages for couples, singles, moms, teenagers, etc.
When we share our lives with people (husbands, wives, kids, friends) They also have love languages and they feel that they need certain things more than others...take the time to learn their language so that we can meet the important needs of others.
Ok so I'll wrap this up with this....I love affirmations! (Anytime you want to tell me something nice about me, I still love it :-)) I still crave Acts of Service.(Makes me feel so good when someone helps with my yard, garden, having dinner made for me and my family unexpectedly) then Quality Time (to spend time with me intentionally and my kids, it is such a sweet treat) and Gifts! Seriously who doesn't like a gift?? haha and then Physical Touch- it is on the last of my list but after years of counseling and lots of love around me, it really should be right up there at the top.
If you'd like to come over and tell me all kinds of sweet things, help me clean the house, spend time hanging out, and bring me a gift......I'll give you a great big hug! HAHA!
Be blessed and be a blessing! Take the time to get to know the needs of others.
Shawna
